Day 8

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

By the end of this month I will show my boyfriend how much I appreciate him, because he deserves it.
By the end of this month I will be one step closer to reinventing myself, I'm going to Sweden and I'm gonna buy lots of dresses, because I feel like it and I want to.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero(s)

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 7

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

My mom.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero(s)

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 6

Day 06- Favorite super hero(s)

The Power Puff Girls.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero(s)

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 5

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Torrevieja, Spain.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero a

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 4

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Hm.. Tough one. Staying up too late? Laughing really loud? Having one meal a day? Facebook. That's the one.. Sneaking around on facebook.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero a

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 3

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

My friends aren't really "one crew", so I decided to go with two pictures of the two best girls in the world. Elise, which is my cousin and Sandra which I'm also somehow related to.

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero a

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 2

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

This is simple. It's my own name. So there's no meaning behind it, really.. 

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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.

Day 02- The meaning behind your blog name

Day 03- A picture of you and your friends

Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have

Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to

Day 06- Favorite super hero a

Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why

Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days

Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends

Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

Day 14- A picture of you and your family

Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

Day 16- Another picture of yourself

Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have

Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy

Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else

Day 23- Something you crave for a lot

Day 24- A letter to your parents

Day 25- What I would find in your bag

Day 26- What you think about your friends

Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge

Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned

Day 30- Your favorite song.

Day 1

Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.




This is the most recent picture of me, taken with my cousin's iPhone.





1. I've changed my name, replacing my fathers last name with Benedicte.
2. I started blogging on Halloween '08.
3. I'm afraid of the dark, falling and spiders.
4. I've been working at McDonald's for 2,5 years.
5. I live with my grandmother.
6. I hate wearing pants.
7. I play World of Warcraft.
8. I met my boyfriend online, he's my guildmaster.
9. I dress up when I'm having a bad day.
10. I only wear red because I look good in it.
11. My favorite color is purple.
12. My favorite movies are A Walk To Remember and The Lake House
13. My all-time favorite TV show is Gossip Girl.
14. I want to get married and have two kids, a boy and a girl.
15. The first thing I do in the morning is usually checking facebook.


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Day 01 - A recent picture of you and 15 facts about yourself.
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero a
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.

Salt skin

I need a new bikini.
It's like mission impossible.
I need that one special bikini that stands out.
That fits me perfectly.
That compliments my body in the right way.

Maah.. Sometimes I hate being a girl.

Ooo.. And I need a tan, just a tiny hint of tan before summer breaks out for real.

GIRLS..... :@


/weheartit

Heyo! Sup?

So for the time being I've given up on World of Warcraft, I guess the relapse isn't that far away. I'm playing SimCity 4 Rush Hour just to keep myself busy after work, unless I'm out trolling real life with my friends o.O I know rite?! Me actually hanging out with people - after work. It's sortof insane.

Hm.. What's new? Oh right. I moved in with my grandmother again, because I couldn't afford the apartment alone. And I'm working my ass off at McDonald's, which is taking a lot of time and energy, but my pro co-workers make it funny and the money makes it worth it! :)

On top of that I'm going to Sweden to visit my gorgeous boyfriend for his birthday! No one said it would be easy to be apart, but it makes being together so much better!

And then there's a lot of lame things I could tell.. Like.. I've seen all of The Big Bang Theory, and I'm starting season 4 of How I Met Your Mother today. I'm also following Chuck and Gossip Girl - and when I get to Sweden I'll watch the last season of Heroes. I've turned into some sort of freak for TV shows. like.. W T F ?!

Now.. I'm off to get started at that show called How I Met Your Mother! Later guys!

It's just a dream.

Have you ever thought about how it would be to actually walk the streets of Orgrimmar? To feel the wind, smell the city, listen to the sounds - just simply being there. If there's one place in another world I'd like to go it's Orgrimmar. I would be amazed by the smallest thing. If I could only go to Orgrimmar in real life. Can't they just come up with something like Disney world? Only difference it's not called Disney world, it's called Azeroth and you would be able to visit a real life Orgrimmar, Silvermoon, Undercity, Thunder Bluff, Ironforge, Stormwind, Darnassus and Exodar. At least Orgrimmar. I want to experience Orgrimmar.

I miss you

Bittersweet pain

  I already have two tattoos, but it's true once you've taken your first tattoo you're hooked. I want more. I've decided one of the tattoos I'm getting, but I can't get it just yet. I have to be like 25 to make sure it won't stretch considering I want it around the hip/stomach area, and I'm hoping that one day I'll get the pleasure of bringing a kid into this world.

  I would also like a sleeve tattoo, but I'm not sure it would fit me. Feels like I'm "too cute" for a tattoo like that. I'm not at a place where I could decide which tattoo to get right now, so I guess I just have to wait and see.

  I'm sooo getting something like this tho. Looks pro! And then I want a tattoo saying how much I admire my mom for making me who I am, and doing that all by herself. She's been the best mom in the world, I wouldn't trade her for anything!

/weheartit

Go there alone

  The journey of life is basically a journey we have to travel by ourselves, we sometimes find people who's going the same way as we are - so we decide to walk together until we have to choose different paths. I've talked about this tunnel that I'm stuck in, pitch dark tunnel with, what seems to be, no entrance or exit. There's no light coming from anywhere, and I've been lost inside it before. Not knowing where I'm 

going, doubting the direction I've chosen to walk, sometimes even walked straight into the wall. 

  Someone heard me screaming and decided to come look for me, he found me - 

and now we're trying to figure out where he came from. The light keeps getting brighter, we can pretty much touch it now - we're just so exhausted. What harm would it do to just sit down for 5 min to catch our breath?

  My head is a mess right now, I've created a "level 5" to keep my emotions separated, which failed the other day btw. All of a sudden I found myself laughing my ass off while crying my heart out. It's the worst combination in the world - according to me at least. Specially when you know that deep down inside that the laughter is just another part of the crying, except it's the part you'd like to hide from the

world. 

  The one that makes your lips shake, and your tears build up quickly and fall fast. You end up being bent over or crouched trying to suck it in and not make any noise, but it hurts too much to hold it in. So you let out a yelp and a cry, then comes the loss of breath, which sucks, because not only are you crying out loud, but you think you sound dumb for not breathing too. Imagine that, and then you're sitting there rofling your fu*king ass off.. It's hilarious, yet pathetic. I'm just glad I don't have to walk alone anymore.


/weheartit/private

Make me feel beautiful again

I saw this coming. Raping my blog with emo-posts. Yay! That's my supersecret way of facing the fact that I am all alone. He's still there, in my heart. We're still us. But the pain of not having him here, right next to me, is too much to handle alone.

I'm sitting here - all alone. Thinking about those moments when I felt complete, loved and beautiful. I want to feel beautiful again.

I don't feel like I have that many to talk to, it's like walking in the dark without guidance - never sure if you're walking in the right direction. 

But there's always that someone who's always there for you - whenever you need him. My best friend. Even tho he doesn't always understand completely - he still tired to.

While I'm waiting for the day I finally will see him again I relieve all the precious moments in my head.

They make me stronger. They make it easier to wait, even tho it sucks and I can't wait. I want to hug & kiss you - right now.

I'm trying to follow my own advice - spend a lot of time with the friends who make you laugh. But it's not easy to laugh when I feel so aline, broken or simply empty. 

He's thinking of me, I know that. Why can't that just be enough? Just for a little while - until we meet again. 

Not being with him leaves me with a constant fear. A fear of losing him - in one way or another. And that's usually when the jealousy kicks in. I become some sort of a monster. The jealousy will only push him further away - but I can't help being scared. 

I've given him all of me, all the tiny pieces that are left of me, and the mess of a person that I've become. He's the only one who's got enough of me to break my heart. I trust that he won't.

/weheartit

70 - He's gone now.

He's gone now. On his way home, to Sweden. I'm broken, it hurts. I don't want to be alone, not now - not today. The day he was going home would be just as painful even if it was in two weeks, but there's something "special" about this day - today.

I'm gonna write something that might be "over the top", too honest maybe. Seven years ago today was my best friends birthday, but six years ago that changed - not because we stopped being friends. But due to another tragic event that was going to ruin this day for the rest of my life. Six years ago, today, I lost my stepfather, he was the only father I ever had - since my biological father bailed on me when I was only a few weeks old. My stepfather was in a coma, and we were holding on to all the hope we could possibly find in our hearts, minds and souls that he would live to talk about it. The thing is that he never woke up. Six years ago I lost my only chance of ever having a father. I mourn the loss of him every day, but I try to focus on the good stuff - all the things the taught me. But today it's difficult to put all the bad feelings aside, 'cause today is a reminder of what happened six years ago.
I'm broken in pieces, and I'm constantly trying to glue myself back together. Luckily I found someone who's willing to help me put the pieces back in place, or at least try to make them fit. I'm so grateful that I found someone who accepts me as I am, and instead of trying to "fix" me so that I will be just the way he planned, he's trying to help me put the pieces back - in order to make me whole again.

I love you Dennis, and I will never let you go.

I miss you dad, and I will never forget you - or the things you taught me.


I haven't slept yet, I think it's about time.